intersections
by justjoy
Summary: #4: "Care to remind me /whose/ fault it was that we got to work this late, Kan-chan?" [Or, the unconnected series of misadventures in Nagano.]
1. on velocity

_please see profile for important note!_

* * *

Missing one eye _sucks_.

Kansuke isn't even going to try to deny it – the only real benefit to this mess is how he can intimidate everyone with at least one working eyeball just by looking at them. Even when he's just thinking about what to have for lunch. Or whether to take a nap.

(Which, okay, he'll admit is a pretty significant upside in his book. He doesn't even need to grab people's collars that often anymore.

Not that it's stopped him from doing it, of course.)

Even after a whole year, Kansuke still sometimes forgets that he needs to turn his head like a bloody _owl_ to see anything at all on his entire left side – blind _spot_ doesn't cover it by any stretch of the word. It's irritating, to say the least.

Anyway. Point being, he notices the loud hum of a car approaching unusually slowly along his morning rehab route way before he sees it.

Kansuke scowls.

The cringe-inducing splotch of pink stays stubbornly at the edge of his vision.

He walks faster.

Koumei's stupidly fancy car refuses to disappear – if anything, it speeds up a little, just enough so that he can see it without turning his head at all. (Which he isn't going to do. Obviously.)

...he can't walk any faster than this, not if he actually wants to complete the entire route without straining something. That damn Koumei had definitely been spying on him. Ugh.

The car window rolls down on the wrong side, because Koumei just _had_ to have a ridiculous foreign car, _because_ why not, apparently.

"Good morning, Kansuke-kun."

Kansuke doesn't break his stride. "You're wasting petrol, Koumei, go away."

"Oh?" (Kansuke doesn't bother looking over – the raised eyebrow is already quite loudly implied.) "I didn't know you were so environmentally conscious, that's quite the new development. But I chose a hybrid car for good reasons, so don't worry about it."

"Reasons?" repeats Kansuke, finally turning to glower at Koumei. It has disappointingly little effect. "What, like stalking people?"

"No, like going for leisurely morning drives," comes the deadpan answer. "So, my sources tell me that you've made up with Yui-san? I must congratulate you on handling matters maturely for once, Kansuke-kun."

Kansuke mutters something wholly unprintable.

Koumei smiles.

"Sod _off,_ " Kansuke says, louder this time.

The smile only widens, if anything.

...Koumei, Kansuke decides, is the absolute worst friend ever – no, the _bane of his existence_ – and should be ignored at all costs. For the sake of his own continued health and well-being.

(Maybe this was exactly the kind of 'strenuous activity' his doctor had been nagging on him to avoid all along. Kansuke would happily comply, in that case.)

"Don't act like you're so above everything yourself, Koumei," he grumbles, with a sudden newfound longing for the ability to exit a conversation by striding off. "And don't say 'sources' when it's just Yui telling you things, it makes you sound like an dumbass."

"Well, I _did_ corroborate with several other informants. Yui-san has a known tendency to be overly generous when it comes to you, after all, and I'd rather not leap to conclusions based on insufficient evidence."

Kansuke snorts. "Would it kill you to use shorter words for once? And if you're so free over there at Arano, I'll tell dispatch to send everything your way!"

Koumei sounds disappointingly unperturbed. "Well, as you keep saying, us local police should stay within our jurisdictions. I wouldn't want to infringe on our prefectural headquarters, now would I?"

"You can _infringe_ on your old office all you like, Koumei, literally no one wants to take it. Must be all that uncomfortable furniture."

"That's odd, I would've attributed it to your constant yelling from next door."

"Ha ha, very funny, Koumei. Bet you won't be laughing if you _drop by_ on another _unexpected visit_ next time."

Koumei drums his fingers lightly on the steering wheel. "Dare I ask what you did to my office, Kansuke-kun?"

Kansuke grins, very sincerely. "Well, let's just say you might find a couple of surprises if y– what're you doing?"

"Contacting Yui-san, of course, I'm sure she'd have something to say about that – "

"You _put that phone down right now_ , or I'm gonna arrest you for texting while driving, and we'll see who has the last laugh right here – "

* * *

 **END**

* * *

 _stop these children, yui, they should not be left without adult supervision_


	2. on technology

_please see profile for important note!_

* * *

Morofushi is halfway to headquarters when his handphone rings over the car's bluetooth system. The caller ID pops up on the console display out the corner of his eye, though he already recognises the particular ringtone without looking over.

(Yui-san always gets assigned classical ringtones, though he selects a new piece every now and then.

Kansuke-kun's, on the other hand, is currently set to an airhorn. Morofushi changes it every time Kansuke annoys him.)

(...Kansuke's ringtone changes _very_ frequently, unsurprisingly enough.)

He pulls over at the first available opportunity and answers the call. "Hello?"

"Oh, Morofushi-keibu, good morning," comes the slightly harried voice over the car's speakers. "Sorry to disturb you this early!"

"You're never a bother, Yui-san." More of a surprise, perhaps, given the hour – even considering Kansuke's... _occasionally liberal_ definition of punctuality, Yui would usually already be on the way to work after picking him up by now. Morofushi's fairly certain he knows the reason for this irregularity, though. "Was there something you needed my help with?"

"Can you bring some flu medicine over to Kan-chan's place?" Yui asks, confirming his deduction. "I thought there were still some left in his medicine cabinet, but I just checked and they're not there."

"Knowing Kansuke-kun, he's probably been taking them in an attempt to appear fine." How predictable. Morofushi sighs. "Did he show any signs of being unwell yesterday?"

"Not really – I mean, he was more cranky than usual, but..." Yui trails off instead of stating the criminally obvious: that Kansuke's mood is more votalite than the weather. "We did get caught in the rain on that case a few days ago, though, and he refused to share my umbrella."

"Hardly surprising. I'll get some medicine and bring it over, then," he answers, already pulling up the map app on his phone to check the traffic towards Kansuke's house. (The wonders of smartphones, much as _certain others_ preferred to pretend the past decade of technological development hadn't happened.) "Should I buy something for lunch as well? Since I assume you're also planning to take the day off."

"Ah, yes, that'd be helpful! I still have a bit of groceries left from the weekend, so I can cook dinner if you're coming over in the evening, but I'd rather not leave Kan-chan alone for too long right n– hmm?" Yui pauses to the sound of what is most definitely Kansuke grumbling in the background. "He says to tell you no pasta, or he's going to fight you personally. I don't think that's happening anytime soon, Kan-chan, I'm keeping your crutch until you don't look like you're going to fall over any second."

The last sentence is directed away from Yui's handphone but still perfectly audible, and it's just as well that they're not video calling, since Morofushi's fairly certain that his amusement is plainly visible on his face. "Rest assured, pasta would be rather wasted on the likes of him. Have you informed the chief yet, or should I?"

"No, it's alright, I'm going to call him later. I need to update him on the case anyway." There's the sound of a kettle whistling in the background – they're probably in the living room, then. "Thanks for doing this, Morofushi-keibu."

"You're quite welcome, Yui-san." He pauses deliberately. "Kansuke-kun, on the other hand..."

The kettle stops whistling. "...am I supposed to tell him you said that?"

"By all means, please do. I'll see you in fifteen minutes, then," says Morofushi, and ends the call before the inevitable outburst.

(He still buys pasta – for Yui, at least. She has good enough taste to like it, anyway, even if Kansuke's reaction alone hadn't already been reason enough.

The airhorn will keep for now.)

* * *

 **END**

* * *

 _peace reigns in nagano police hq for one (1) day_


	3. on handwriting

_present tense will return after this brief commercial break_

* * *

"Now, listen here, Yui." Kan-chan had his serious face on, the one he'd learned from Kai-senpai and practiced in a mirror when he thought no one was looking. "I've got two classmates visiting these few days, so no calling me Kan-chan, okay?"

Yui frowned as he reached over to redo the ribbon bow on her ponytail. "But why not? That's your name!"

"That's _not_ – ugh – I only ever let you say that because you couldn't pronounce my name correctly when you were younger! Aren't you always saying you're all grown up now?"

"I am, I'm almost six this year!" Yui replied fiercely. "But Kan-chan is Kan-chan anyway, right?"

Kan-chan scowled, and –

"Oh dear, bullying younger girls now, are you, Kansuke-kun? How disappointing indeed," said someone else from behind him, and Yui peered out from around Kan-chan's legs to see another boy about the same height as him. "You must be Yui-chan, then. I'm Morofushi Takaaki, an acquaintance of Kansuke-kun's."

Kan-chan was scowling _really_ hard now. Yui thought she could hear him grinding his teeth. "Shut it with your long words, Koumei, not everyone was born a walking dictionary like you."

Yui perked up at the familiar name. "Oh, so _you're_ the niichan that Kan-chan's always complaining ab– uh oh!" Her hands flew up to cover her mouth. She shouldn't have said that!

Koumei-niichan didn't look angry, though. "Well, at least _some_ of us were born with manners, evidently enough. Don't worry, Yui-chan, I'm rather curious to find out what Kansuke-kun has been saying behind my back."

"What d'you mean, 'behind your back'?" Kan-chan snorted. " _You_ don't worry, Koumei, I have absolutely no problems with saying the same things to your face – "

Yui watched, fascinated. She'd seen Kan-chan annoyed before, of course, but this was like watching Kai-senpai practice archery, except that _his_ targets never shot back.

So she jumped a little when _another_ someone else tapped her lightly on the shoulder.

Yui looked up to see an older girl, who was smiling apologetically. "Ah, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you! I'm Kobashi Aoi, a classmate of those two over there."

She smiled back, wider. "Nice to meet you, Aoi-neechan, I'm Yui!"

"Nice to meet you too, Yui-chan!" Aoi-neechan bent down a little, so Yui didn't have to look so high up. "Want to hear a little secret?"

Yui nodded, eyes wide.

"Actually, Kansuke-kun's talked so much about you, I feel like I know you a little already." She winked, and held a finger to her lips. "Don't tell him I said that, though!"

 _"Eeehhhh?!"_ exclaimed Yui – but very quietly, since she was keeping it a secret. "That's unfair, Kan-chan never tells me _anything!_ "

"He doesn't? Now, that won't do at all." She sighed dramatically at Kan-chan's back. He didn't notice. Neither did Koumei-niichan. "Say, Yui-chan, do you want to be penpals?"

"Penpals?" Yui pointed at herself. "With you?"

Aoi-neechan nodded, smiling. "Yes! You see, I'm going to be a writer someday, so I need all the practice I can get."

"Really? That's amazing! But..." Yui wilted a little. "I don't really know many words yet, and Kan-chan always complains that my handwriting is terrible."

Aoi-neechan raised an eyebrow, and Yui decided that she was going to learn how to do that someday. "I've seen the chicken scratch that Kansuke-kun calls kanji, I'm sure yours is neater than that. Besides, you won't get better unless you practice!"

That made sense, Yui thought. It was definitely more helpful than Kan-chan grumbling about messy squiggles in every one of the few letters he wrote.

"Here, let's exchange addresses!" Aoi-neechan reached into her backpack and pulled out a notepad and pen. "I'll tell you everything that happens at school, and you can tell me about your village – I heard Kansuke-kun talk about an annual horseback archery festival, that sounds so interesting!"

"Yeah, it's super cool!" Yui's face brightened, even as she concentrated on writing down her home address correctly. "You should come to watch it this year! Koumei-niichan too – "

 _"WHATEVER IT IS, KOUMEI'S NOT INVITED!"_ hollered Kan-chan indignantly. _"If you even dare to suggest anything like that, Kobashi, I swear I'm banning you for life, I don't care – "_

(Both of them came for that year's festival anyway. Kai-senpai even wrote an invitation to send with Yui's letter, along with answers to the questions that Aoi-neechan had been asking about both horseback archery and his work as a policeman. Yui wondered if all of it was going into her first book. She hoped so.

Kan-chan yelled a lot when he found out. He would've yelled more, except then Koumei-niichan arrived and they were too busy glaring at each other and ignoring everyone else.

Aoi-neechan rolled her eyes, muttered something about leaving them to it, and asked Yui to show her all the best stalls at the festival.

Which Yui did, of course, starting with the food stall that Kan-chan's grandma ran every year, and Aoi-neechan bought one or two extras of everything.

"So that _they_ can have something to eat while they argue," she answered when Yui asked her why, and continued with a little wink. "Don't worry, I'll get them to pay me back! Maybe even for our share as well, since Kan-chan's playing host this time. Right?"

Yui laughed so hard she nearly cried.)

* * *

 **END**

* * *

 _how do write children, anyway,_


	4. on punctuality

_arrest your leg, kan-chan, just do it,_

* * *

"Dammit, Uehara, I can walk _just bloody fine_ , stop pushing me ar–"

"Care to remind me _whose_ fault it was that we got to work this late, Kan-chan?"

"Look, it isn't my fault that my leg's been an idiot all morning, is it? That still doesn't mean I need a wheelchair!"

"Firstly, this isn't a wheelchair, in case you haven't noticed. And we actually _do_ need to get to that meeting on time, so – "

Morofushi peers into Kansuke's office, though the chaos is already quite audible enough from next door. "Do you require my assistance, Yui-san?"

"It's fine, Morufushi-keibu, don't worry about it!" says Yui, smile cheerful and very, _very_ sharp. "Although – could you inform the chief that we'll be a little late? Five minutes, at most."

"Certainly." Walking further into the room confirms his deduction – Kansuke is sitting on an office chair with his crutch planted firmly on the floor, expression even more mulish than usual as he glares up at Yui. (Morofushi is fairly certain that the chair is Yui's, since Kansuke had swapped his for one without wheels after the third time he'd nearly fallen over while trying to stand up.) "Anything else?"

"Ah, would you bring those three files over as well?" Yui points to the only neat stack amongst the general mess of Kansuke's desk. "Thanks, Morofushi-keibu!"

"You're welcome, Yui-san." Morofushi takes the files and and promptly makes for the door before he stops being able to hide his amusement from Kansuke. "I'll explain matters to the chief, so take your time."

"Oh, not at all," says Yui from behind him, probably still smiling in that vaguely unsettling way that reminds him of Kansuke's grandmother, "I fully intend to get Yamato-keibu here to the meeting in short order, or _so help me_ – "

He doesn't entirely manage to hide his snicker this time.

(Judging from Yui's occasional call of "coming through, please excuse us!" echoing down the corridor as he walks to the meeting room, punctuated by Kansuke's increasingly annoyed grumbling – and his own failing attempts at a neutral expression – it's a lost battle on both of their parts.

Morofushi is surprisingly fine with that, as long as someone took photos of Yamato Kansuke being pushed around in a wheelie chair.

Perhaps the office CCTV...?)

* * *

 **END**

* * *

 _wheelie chairs 10/10 amirite_


End file.
